The Guide to Dating Apps 101

Want to know a secret? I haven’t been in a real relationship since 2014. Yes, you read it right; I’ve been single for over 4 years. That means the last time I had a relationship, all the beyhive fans thought Bey and Jay were on the verge of a divorce after that video of them arguing at a Nets game surfaced. Sometimes I get all in my feelings and start questioning what it is that I did to deserve this and then I snap back and realize that this is exactly what I’ve asked for.

Since my last relationship ended due to a slew of unfortunate events, I began to feel as though all relationships were a joke. I didn’t take anyone serious nor did I think twice about investing in anyone long term. My mentality changed from "I want love” to “I just want to have fun”; within reason and my moral code of ethics, I’ve done just that! *sips tea* As I began to get older and start to grow in my career, my have fun attitude has shifted back to love.

I’ve been DM’ing Ciara to ask her what exactly she asked God for when it came to Russel Wilson, but she hasn’t gotten back to me yet. However, I know that I want someone I can grow with both spiritually and physically, someone I can talk business with, get creative with, but more importantly I want someone I can love with my whole heart and who will reciprocate that same energy. My goal for 2019 is to be more intentional with everything and to speak those things that I want to see manifest over my life. So here I am, being intentional and speaking genuine love over my life.

Being a busy creative who doesn’t always have time to go out and meet new people, I decided to invest in my love life through the use of dating apps. We all know that social media is the wave when it comes to people taking their shot, so why not be on a platform where people are there with the same goals in mind. I’ve tested out a few apps over the past few months and I decided to share a few of my favorites along with Things to Avoid to Ensure You Get a Right Swipe.

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BLK is a FREE app focused on creating a community for Black men and Black women to connect based on similar likes and interests. I will say there are a few non-black stragglers on this app, however it has produce a few successful dates. The quality of men is decent and they range in profession. The only negative is that this app only shows pictures. There is no extra details offered about the person, you have to ask yourself.

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Soul Swipe

Soul Swipe is Black dating, done right. Join the black community you've been waiting for and start swiping with your soul. Now, there are A LOT of non-black stragglers on this app but they seem to very woke (if that’s what you’e looking for). There is a small section where people can add a blurb about themselves. Also, majority of the accounts are linked through Facebook, so that means you have the chance to be nosey!

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Bumble empowers users to connect with confidence. A safe online community for users to build new relationships. What I love about this app is that it is more than just dating. You can also meet new friends and business partners. I haven’t used the two latter services, but the dating part is cool! One thing that I think is interesting with this app is that women have the chance to make the first move. Therefore, we have 24 hours to make the first move or the match will expire.


Hinge is designed to be deleted. Its the first free dating app for people who want to get off dating apps. The unique thing about Hinge is that there are intriguing prompts that you can answer on your profile to strike up conversation with others. It’s lowkey fun and the conversation is always entertaining. I will say that this is the most engaging app and it allows you to learn more about your potential bae before you spark a conversation.


Things to Avoid to Ensure You Get a Right Swipe

  1. Group pictures - We don’t have time to play guessing games so let’s leave the crowd pictures for Facebook or Instagram.

  2. Putting school of hard-knocks as your university - This is mainly for my New York daters. Just because you didn’t go to school doesn’t make you less marketable. However, referring to your educations as the streets is a quick way to get ignored.

  3. Using filters - We want to see the natural you. Not the filtered you.

  4. Not smiling in your photos - We need to know if you have all of your teeth. Not smiling infers that you are either not happy or missing a few teeth. Who wants to deal with either one?

  5. Pictures with the opposite sex - Are you trying to not get a date? We don’t care if it’s your siblings or your best friend, leave that for a dinner conversation.

  6. Just face pictures - We want to see if you’re slim in the waist or if have a little more to love all over. Don’t try and fool others with all portraits, we need at least one full body.

  7. Lying on your profile - All lies will catch up to you one day. So, to avoid the drama just don’t lie PERIOD.

  8. Only posting one picture - We need to know that you’re real. Give us at least 3 photos. Only posting one will make others assume your fake and catfishing is soooo 2018.

  9. Pictures of you kissing your pet in the mouth - If you kiss your pet in the mouth, your level of cleanliness is up for debate. Leave that for your bonding time with your pet, not for others to see.

For those looking to meet new people, whether it be for fun or something serious, I hope you found this helpful. Be sure to let me know if you use any of the apps and what your experience is like! Stay tuned, I’ll be starting a new dating series in the next month and you don’t want to miss it!

Till Next Time Loves,

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